I am discouraged today. I attended my new family ward for the first time today. I felt lost and forgotten most of the day, not because people didn't reach out to me, but because I do not belong. The part that was the hardest was during the Relief Society lesson when they discussed why young people are not getting married and it was suggested that it was because they did not want to get married. That could not be further from the truth in my case. All I have ever wanted to do was to get married and have a family, but it hasn't happened for me yet. I have tried so desperately to be righteous and to be faithful in my callings and temple attendance in hopes that the Lord would bless me with the opportunity to marry and have children. Oh how I want an eternal companion! I know the teacher wasn't meaning to be hurtful and so I am not offended, but I wish that people could occasionally see into the hearts of others and be wise in their actions. In Sacrament Meeting, the scripture from Matthew was mentioned about the fallen sparrow. As I was trying to find the passage on lds.org today, I found a talk written in 1997 by President Thomas S. Monson that spoke to me. It is entitled, "The Spirit Giveth Life." I needed to hear it today and I assume others are struggling out there today. I know my life is not hard, in comparison to some, but I know we each face trials sometimes stronger than we feel we can bear and in those times, we feel utterly alone, as I have been feeling recently. Not only has my mom passed away, but my sister moved out to live with my dad. I am living alone, attending church alone, working at a school where people do not know me, and feeling forgotten in so many ways! I needed to hear this quote today.

"In a day of danger or a time of trial, such knowledge, such hope, such understanding bring comfort to the troubled mind and grieving heart. The entire message of the New Testament breathes a spirit of awakening to the human soul. Shadows of despair are dispelled by rays of hope, sorrow yields to joy, and the feeling of being lost in the crowd of life vanishes with the certain knowledge that our Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us.

The Savior provided assurance of this truth when He taught that not even a sparrow shall fall to the ground unnoticed by our Father. He then concluded the beautiful thought by saying,

“Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

“Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven” (see Matt. 10:29–32).

We live in a complex world with daily challenges. There is a tendency to feel detached, even isolated, from the Giver of every good gift. We worry that we walk alone.

From the bed of pain, from the pillow wet with the tears of loneliness, we are lifted heavenward by that divine assurance and precious promise, “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee” (Josh. 1:5).

Such comfort is priceless as we journey along the pathway of mortality, with its many forks and turnings. Rarely is the assurance communicated by a flashing sign or a loud voice. Rather, the language of the Spirit is gentle, quiet, uplifting to the heart and soothing to the soul."

As I have been grieving for a little over a month, every night I fall asleep quoting "Come, Come Ye Saints." I quote, "Come, come ye saints. No toil, nor labor fear. But with joy, wend your way. Though hard to you, this journey may appear. Grace shall be as your day. 'Tis better far for us to strive, our useless cares from us to drive. Do this, and joy your hearts will swell, all is well, all is well." I repeat  this phrase over and over until I fall asleep. I pray that I may not fear my life's labors and travel my journey with joy! Although my burdens seem heavy, I know that my Father-in-Heaven has sent me His Son, my Savior to help lighten my load. I pray that I might have the Spirit be my constant companion that I might hear his gentle, quiet voice uplifting and soothing my soul. Thanks for reading!